It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
