A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
