I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is the high leading the old right now
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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