How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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