fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
