How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need to calm my uterus...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
