Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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