How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
