I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
