Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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