I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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