My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
