he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
