allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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