HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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