like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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