i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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