dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize