But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
