Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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