I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
