I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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