I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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