is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
