doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize