oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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