I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
