Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
