Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
