I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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