WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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