I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
