PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
