I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
