yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
