White coat. Heels.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
