turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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