I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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