Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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