vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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