VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
