Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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