nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
