she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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