I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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