I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
