her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
