I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he fucked my hip out of place.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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