nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
