Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
