so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
