shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
