No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
