I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
