I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The power of my boobs compel you
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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