Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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