Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
