Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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