i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
