I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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