how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
