called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hippo gnu deer
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
