dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
