Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
